But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
