She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
