you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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