We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize