ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
