In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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