we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize