loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
