So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
