no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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