I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
