I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
