I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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