i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
