so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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