you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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