wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
