wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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