Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
