Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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