i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
