I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
