the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
