I accidentally had phone sex last night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
