How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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