hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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