Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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