Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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