He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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