would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
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