And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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