spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
