I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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