Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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