toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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