apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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