i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
