Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
