I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
