That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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