Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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