Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
