well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
