remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
