how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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