Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
