I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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