Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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