Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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