What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
