Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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