you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
