I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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