haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
