Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
