I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
