I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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