I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
